In Spirit and In Truth

Growing up, I was apart of a family, that wasn't really a family. We were related by blood, but not by love. It was a sad, lonely life growing up in that family. They weren't necessarily mean, no, just....loveless. Their concerns in life was more towards themselves than other members of the family. This attitude was a source of many contentions and conflict. Now, it wouldn't have been so bad, if I wasn't the youngest (in a family of six). It wouldn't have been so bad if both of my parents hadn't passed away by the time I was seventeen. As strange as it may seem, during these hard, hard times, we were all faithfully involved in a church. As a young adult, I was in need emotionally and spiritually. Surrounded by a bevy of Christians, in which my family also considered themselves Christians. I was surrounded by Christians who were uncomfortable with my needs. Christians who insinuated my situation was result of "hidden sin" or a curse handed down by...

"Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:2

I don't know about you, but as I grow in my relationship with the Lord I feel more "woman" than I was before. I mean, it's like this...my identity as a woman, wife and mother rests solely upon Him, upon His creation of me. When I accepted His son as my savior and received the anointing of the Holy Spirit. I was more "me" than I ever was before. Maybe that doesn't make any sense to you, maybe it does. It's the wholeness that I love with Him. The sense of feeling "right" by the way of who, I am as a woman. There are many parameters upon us. Many demands. Many opinions and do's and don'ts. Many guilts. But there are many victories as well. A birth of a long awaited child, the respect of your husband and his desire to protect you. When all is said and done, ultimately, I am defined by His love. This is why I am woman.

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Do you have a thorn in your side? I do. In times of trials, every minute is a battle for my faith. At times, I find myself crying out for mercy and then, I understand that while He is merciful, He is also purposeful. He says to me, "Count it all joy." JOY?!? "Yes, joy. For the trying of your faith worketh patience. Let patience have her perfect work, so that you may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing." James 1:2-4 So each day, I battle. Every hour, I fight. Every minute I paste a pained smile over my mind. While I wait patiently for Him. All the while, rebuking the Devil's lies that He (my Father) has forsaken me. What I realize....eventually....while I am without, a slow recognition begins to form. A miraculous transformation. I SEE His daily provision. I AM waiting patiently upon the Lord. So, bless this thorn! And count it all joy! I still battle and still I fight. This will be my lot until the Lord returns on high or until He calls me home. But, as I col...

When Adam and Eve bit the apple in the Garden, so long ago. It was a catalyst. I imagine in my mind's eye that there was an invisible, quiet moving and shaking as their eyes were "opened". I imagine...mournfulness. Painful, anguish upon concession that a grievous harm had been done. It had to be soul shaking... it had to be as...death. When the blasphemous deed has been consummated in their mind, translated into their heart and devastated their souls. Now they found each other alone...their Father no longer...available to nourish their bodies...their souls... He cannot be apart of their lives any longer for they are now...unclean, defiled and rebellious. They must leave the haven of provision. They must till the barren land. They must birth their children in this land ripe with sorrow. By the sweat of their brow they now work, until...they die. But... who dares interfere with the love a father has for his son? Who would dare get between a mother and her newborn baby? Noth...

I have heard many sermons, read many books on the topic of "effective prayer". It wasn't until my relationship with Him had blossomed and through Him I overcame debilitating issues that prevented me from praying confidently to be heard, and humbly, as not to be rebuked. Because of my personal prayer experiences and my studying of the Word, I believe effective prayer cannot be taught, but, instead, it must be received. Bear with me, please read on with your bibles open... John chapter 15 in all it's beauty, explains the intricate "vine and branches" relationship between us, Christ and the Father. Take note of verse 7: " IF ye abide in me, AND my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you." The conditions attached to "ask what ye will and it shall be done unto you", is we first MUST abide in Him AND His words abide in us. These conditions are of utmost importance, as without it we will be "fruitless...